


A Secret Almost Worth Keeping

by patrickp



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: Fluff, M/M, a cheesy starter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 14:06:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7271347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patrickp/pseuds/patrickp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hey. Weird idea, um… so, like, it might totally be super weird, so feel free to say no, but- Maybe since neither of us have had our first kiss, we could like? Practice on each other? I mean it'd be totally, like, no homo, dude.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Secret Almost Worth Keeping

**Author's Note:**

> so I'm usually a huge peterick stan alright but this is my first joetrick fic ever and um?
> 
> credit to lewis (PheathersWriting) for helping me keep Joe in character they're the bomb diggity

“Fuck girls, honestly. Not in a literal sense because- that defeats the purpose of the figurative sense. You get what I mean.” Joe sighed and sat down on his bed next to Patrick, looking over lazily at the red-haired boy. 

“Yes, Joe, I get what you mean,” Patrick responded through laughter. He laid back against Joe’s bed, sighing. “Just… you can't really blame them. I mean, look at me. I can see why no one in 17 years has asked me out.”

“Bro. Didn’t you tell me a bunch of kids asked you out in elementary?”

“Yeah, that's elementary! That doesn't count.”

“It so does.”

“Okay, maybe, but it doesn't change the fact that I've never had my first kiss.” Patrick stood and walked to Joe's record collection, carefully flipping through them. 

“Wait.” Joe sat up and turned to face Patrick. “Really?”

Patrick frowned. “Yeah. I'm no Wentz.”

Joe laughed brightly. “Neither am I. I haven't had my first kiss either.”

“Oh.” Patrick sounded surprised, eyes focused in on the records.

“Hey. Weird idea, um… so, like, it might totally be super weird, so feel free to say no, but- Maybe since neither of us have had our first kiss, we could like? Practice on each other? I mean it'd be totally, like, no homo, dude.” Joe rubbed his hand up and down his thigh in a nervous habit, breath catching in his throat so he cleared his throat almost every few words. He bit his lip hard, but then recoiled on the taste of blood. Bad idea.

“Um… I mean, maybe... “ Patrick turned back and walked over, sitting carefully on the edge of Joe's bed. “I mean, then we could say we have had our first kiss. As long as we don't say who it was, we'll be fine. Right?” Patrick looked nervous-- no, downright afraid. That wasn’t something that Joe often saw, so it made _him_ nervous.

“Right.” Joe nodded. “So, like, shake on it? No homo, keep it a secret?” He let out a tiny breath, feeling like his heart was _literally_ going to explode, and it was currently just at the thought of kissing Patrick. Wait. It was supposed to be no homo, so… why was Joe freaking out so much?

Patrick met Joe's hand with his own in a firm shake before returning to his lap to just rub nervously up and down his thigh, a movement quite familiar to Joe.

Joe swallowed hard. How was he supposed to start this, giving his best friend a totally, extremely heterosexual first kiss? He scooted closer to Patrick until their thighs were touching, and he started leaning in, feeling as if it was by imperceptible movements, as if he were moving slower than a snail. It only started feeling really real when Patrick closed his eyes and started leaning in too, except at seemingly much faster speeds than Joe was moving, or than he was even ready for. Joe kept his eyes open, not wanting to miss and kiss Patrick's nose instead or something, because that would be weird. He could feel Patrick's breath on his face as he got closer and it began feeling like a moment in a movie. He could almost hear the backing music, everything in slow motion. His lips finally pressed against Patrick's and it was… warm. Nothing like Joe expected. 

They just kind of stayed like that, for a minute, and Joe just thought, _is this all kissing is? BORING._ And then he thought about movie scenes. Their mouths were open. He wasn’t sure what they were doing with open mouths, but he figured it’d be worth a try. He dropped his jaw and was surprised as Patrick took the lead, opening his own mouth to just take Joe's bottom lip between his own, just… working their lips together in a way that Joe could never even _try_ to reciprocate. Was Patrick sure he hadn’t had his first kiss? He felt himself thinking too much, losing the moment of the kiss, so he tried to clear his mind and just tried to keep up with what Patrick was doing, which began to feel more hungry and desperate and sloppy, nothing orchestrated and careful. That’s when Patrick accidently kind of brushed over the cut in Joe’s lip from where he’d bit it earlier- and that shit hurt. 

“Fuck, ow.” Joe winced and checked to make sure he wasn’t bleeding again, but tried to go back to kissing Patrick, not wanting to lose the moment.

“Mm, sorry.” Patrick didn’t move an inch away from Joe, talking right into his mouth which… may sound weird, but was actually kind of hot and Joe totally didn’t mind.

They went back to kissing, and Joe continued to try to keep up, desperately moving his lips against Patrick’s. And then, _just_ when Joe started to feel like he’d gotten the hang of it, Patrick threw another fuckin’ curveball. He felt Patrick’s tongue start moving into his mouth, and now it was back to being careful and orchestrated, all gentle movements. Was Patrick taking this that seriously? He guessed so, since Patrick’s tongue was now in his mouth and at this point Joe was pretty sure they were officially making out and he wasn’t sure how to react.

And then there was another curveball. Joe felt Patrick’s warm hand against his chest, gently pushing back, and all Joe could think was, _well, if you wanted to stop kissing me, you can move away._ But he moved backwards. What he didn’t expect was for Patrick to follow him, not letting their mouths separate, hand still against his chest, continuing to push him back until Joe was lying on his bed. There was a quick pause in the kiss as Patrick adjusted his position on the bed so he was… fuck, almost straddling Joe. But Joe tried to ignore that and just tried to take in the fact that there he was, lying on his bed, making out with his best friend. And he was surprisingly okay with it. He just tried to get lost again, just get lost in what Patrick was doing. 

And then Patrick sat up, away from Joe, in a very jerky manner, wiping his mouth off with the back of his hand. “Um. I think I'm gonna go.” Patrick stood awkwardly and started walking to the door, ignoring all Joe's cries of “Patrick, wait!” 

And then Patrick was gone and Joe was left with his lips feeling swollen and his heart feeling broken. 

\----------------

For the next few days, Joe didn’t hear anything from Patrick. He’d call him but Patrick wouldn’t answer, he’d ask Pete if he’d heard from Patrick and Pete said absolutely nothing, he’d just try to get in contact with Patrick and it felt like Patrick had taken every measure to make sure that that _didn’t_ happen.

Which totally fucking upset Joe.

They’d totally had a moment. Okay, more than a moment. Like, 10 minutes. Of seriously kissing. Patrick had literally been _on top_ of Joe. How can he do that and then ignore Joe? Maybe he was just trying to detox after that, since they were supposed to be completely and utterly heterosexual, definitely nothing happened, in which case, sure fine whatever, but he could at least let Joe know so Joe knew Patrick wasn’t, like… dead or something.

So he told himself Patrick was detoxing and everything, but then he found himself wondering what the fuck _he_ himself was doing. Well, he could answer that, but not in an answer he liked.

He thought about Patrick. In a not friendly way. In a… more than friendly way. He just wanted to kiss Patrick again. Whenever he thought about it, about that 10 minutes in heaven, he just… wanted to relive it. Feel Patrick’s lips against his own, the red head’s body right up against his, fucking _everything._ He wanted to feel that way again. Feel… fuck, he didn’t even know the word. It was something he’d never felt before, ever, and he had no idea how to name it.

But Pete was an expert on these things, right? I mean, Pete had infinite wisdom of the universe and how it worked because he was a whopping six years older, so that automatically made him more sage and wise than Joe could ever hope to be. Kind of. Whatever. So Joe went to Pete’s house and rang the doorbell, hands jammed into his pockets.

Pete answered the door, a grin on his face that quickly slid into an expression of surprise. “Joe! Hey, man. Come on in.” He slid aside to open the door, opening his arm as a ‘welcome’ gesture even though Joe’d been in his house plenty of times.

“What were you so happy about when you opened the door, dude?” Joe shuffled through the door and then turned back to look at Pete as he closed the door.

“Oh, I just got off the phone with Patrick and he was bein’ dirty.”

Joe had to refrain from doing a double double take, once for Patrick talking to anyone, and another for Patrick allegedly being dirty. “Dude, are you sure that wasn’t you?”

“Oh yeah, it was, kind of. But I’m funny. Anyways. What’s up, man?” Pete led Joe down to his basement, sitting down on one of the couches. Joe carefully sat on the other end, nervous.

“So, like, promise not to make fun of me.”

“Dude. I’m not a dick, you know.”

Joe rolled his eyes so hard he thought they might fall out of his head. “Right. Just- it’s embarrassing okay, so promise not to make fun of me.”

“Okay, fine! I promise.” Pete smiled and lifted his hands in the air as a sign of surrender, but he soon just dropped his hands back in his lap. “So what’s up, dude?”

“Alright, well… I’d never had my first kiss before, shut the fuck up I know you’re about to say something, dude, and so I kind of made an agreement with my friend who has also never had their first kiss that we could… kiss each other and stuff so we could say we’d had our first kiss as long as we didn’t tell anyone who we kissed.”

“So the kisser remains anonymous. Alright.”

“Right.” Joe started running his hand up and down his thigh again, sighing. “And so, like, we start kissing and it’s getting pretty good and- we ended up, like… well, I was laying on my bed and they were on top of me, and-”

“Yeah, man! First kiss _and_ you get laid? You must be a good kisser, Trohman.”

Joe shot Pete a look. “It wasn’t like that, dude. They were just, like… above me.”

“You let me down, Trohman. Have I taught you nothing?”

“Shut up and let me finish! Okay, so we were kissing and it was great and then they left all of a sudden and won’t talk to me. And… here’s the part you have to promise not to tell anyone.”

“Okay. I promise.”

“I… Shit man, this is gonna sound gay. Um, I, like… think about them a lot? Like, kissing them, and… just being with them in general. And I don’t know what that means because this kiss was supposed to be a no strings attached thing and here I am, you know?” Joe set his elbows on his knees and rested his face in his hands, letting out a frustrated groan.

Pete was quiet for a moment, just thinking. “Man, I think you like the person. Whoever the hell it was. I think you have to talk to them, tell them what’s going on. I mean, if it was such a moment like you said, the chance is they didn’t just kiss you like that for fun, they probably felt something too.”

Joe looked up, eyebrow raised. “I’m surprised you didn’t make a single perverted joke out of that.”

“Oh, I was about to.” Pete winked. “They probably… _felt_ something, too?”

Joe made a disgusted face. “Pete, knock it off, dude. It wasn’t like that.”

“Sure it wasn’t.” Pete grinned and winked again, earning a pillow thrown at his face.

“I thought you could take this seriously, Pete.”

“Okay, okay! Sorry.” Pete sighed. “Listen. Just talk to them and just figure out how they feel. If they feel the same thing, then pursue a relationship. If not, then, get a crush on someone else.”

Joe just nodded for a moment, thinking. Was Pete actually applying life knowledge to this or was he being a dick and setting Joe up for failure? He had to take the former of the two and hope to god he was right.

“Alright, well… thanks, man.”

“Anytime, Trohman. Tell me if any more ‘kissing’ happens.” Pete winked over-exaggeratedly, making huge air quotes around kissing.

“Fuck you.”

“Oh, you wish.”

“Disgusting, dude.”

\-----------------

So Joe took Pete’s advice and decided to just talk to Patrick. Which totally fucking terrified him. So before doing anything, Joe sat down and just tried to figure out what he’d say. Tell Patrick the truth. Tell him he really liked that kiss, maybe he wasn’t totally, extremely heterosexual, and that he kind of… maybe liked Patrick. Except honestly, Joe was still coming to terms with the fact that he wasn’t as straight as he thought he was. He’d never been _super_ straight, obviously, but… it somehow never occurred to him that he might like dudes. So this was kind of a surprise, but kind of not. It was weird. So before he could even talk to Patrick, who was super straight himself, he had to be okay with the fact that he even liked Patrick.

Once he’d stopped trying to pretend he was straight, it was much easier. So what, he was gay, and he liked Patrick. He wasn’t sure how his parents would react, much less Patrick’s parents, but that was a problem for another time, another day. He then tried to just think about what he would actually say to Patrick. So there he stood, looking in the mirror, trying to come up with something that didn’t totally _suck._

“Hey, so, like, you remember that totally heterosexual kiss we had the other day that we promised to never speak of? Yeah, well, uh, I think I’m not totally heterosexal and I kind of like you.”

Joe sighed and rested his head on the mirror. This was the seventh try and each one was a variation of this. _Fuck._

Joe looked in the mirror, tried to see Patrick, imagine how he’d react, and tried it again. “Patrick, um… I know we said we weren’t going to, like, talk about it, but… I kind of need to talk to you about that kiss the other day. And… I know I said it was, like, totally heterosexual, but, dude… I don’t think I am. I… I think I like you, dude. And it’s- it’s totally cool if you just want to like, not hang out any more if you think it’s weird because I know it’s… a lot of pressure on you and I probably just made things weird, but… I really liked that kiss and stuff and I just… like, I didn’t want to keep bottling this shit up anymore.”

That was actually pretty good.

“Do you- do you really mean that?”

 _Fuck._ He was screwed. 

Joe spun around in a frenzy to see Patrick standing in the doorway to his bathroom, a place where Joe’d totally not seem him since it was out of the view of the mirror. Joe rubbed the back of his neck nervously, biting his lip. “Um… I- I guess, yeah.”

Patrick slowly nodded, one hand resting on the doorway and one in his pocket, weight all leaned to one leg. “Right.” He pulled his hand from his pocket and rubbed the back of his neck. “So I guess you wouldn’t be upset if I told you I wasn’t totally heterosexual either, and I kind of like you.” 

Joe felt his eyes going wide in disbelief. “Um, really? Like, for real?”

Patrick smiled just a tiny bit, biting his lip. “Um, yeah, ‘like for real’.”

Joe just nodded, running a hand through his hair in disbelief. Shit. Fuck. That could not be real. Patrick was not standing in front of him, and he did not just confess that he liked Joe back. He was dreaming. To make sure it wasn’t a dream, Joe started pinching his arm, blinking rapidly.

“Um, Joe? What are you doing?” 

“Pinching myself to make sure this isn’t a dream because it sure feels like one.”

“Nope. All real, man.”

Joe nodded. “Right.” He ran his hands through his hair more, sighing and kind of scoffing, still in major disbelief.

“Joe. Are you gonna stop freaking the fuck out and respond in actual words at some point, or should I see myself out?” Patrick raised an eyebrow, sighing and pursing his lips a little.

“Sorry, sorry, I just- I’m kind of freaking out because I, like, prepared myself for you rejecting me and warding me off but I- I never prepared myself or thought that you would like me back. I’m just, like, totally blown away, dude.”

Patrick laughed and walked the short distance in the bathroom to Joe, setting his hands on Joe’s hips. “Maybe this will make it feel more real.” Patrick rose up just barely on tiptoe, leaning his head up, to chastely kiss Joe.

“That does help. Maybe you could do it one more time, just, you know, to make sure it’s really sinking in.” Joe shrugged. “Maybe.”

“I think I could manage that.”


End file.
